The Minus 5... minus me.

The boyfriend was much, much too sick to partake in the Minus 5 festivities last night, so we skipped it altogether. I'm very bummed, but what can you do? So instead, I went out with my friend who was covering a story on karaoke nights in the area, and it was fun to watch people get up and make complete asses out of themselves. Still, you have to give it up for people who have the balls to get up there in the first place, because I certainly wouldn't do it. (I would've needed a lot more alcohol for that).

Next time, Minus 5... next time.

Ryan Reynolds is HOT.

MySpace, to be clear, definitely scares the hell out of me... however, it makes me happy to know that Ryan Reynolds has a MySpace site, so I might have to spend more time over there. From what I can tell, it seems like it really is him. Thanks to Trent over at Pink Is the New Blog for the heads-up!

What's going on...

So much to talk about!!!


First and foremost, tonight is the night I've been waiting for: The Minus 5 will be performing tonight at World Cafe Live. Peter Buck and crew will be rocking our pants off starting at 7:30pm... there is a bit of a concern, though. The boyfriend seems to have contracted some sort of flu/cold/what-have-you, and that may put a damper on things. To make things worse, the tickets are under his name at the will-call. Dammit!! (But I hope you feel better, honey, I really do!)

What else have I got for you, you might ask? Pick up this month's Philadelphia magazine to get the skinny on everyone's salaries in the Philadelphia area. It is sick what some people make in this town! Did you know that Cecily Tynan, the meteorologist for Channel 6 news, makes $625,000 a year?? Jim Gardner, the anchor, makes $2.1 million a year! That's crazy... I really wish I'd tried a little harder when I was involved in journalism now. ;-) I should just get a job taking tickets for SEPTA -- they make approx. $62,000. I really like Philly mag (I should, I interned there), but I found this issue to be especially good. It's the first one in a long time that I read cover to cover, so be sure to pick it up.

Also, I have a brand-new website obsession... I definitely stayed up until 2:30 in the morning just to look through a bunch of their archives, but it was worth it. You must check out Found -- I'm sure many of you have heard of it before or are familiar with it, but if you're not, it's definitely worth checking out. The concept is simple -- notes or photos or whatever that people have found, scanned, and sent into the website. Essentially, it's picking up trash and posting it on the internet, but some of the notes and photos found are heartbreaking, and some are absolutely hilarious. Make sure you take a look! I added it to my blog roll.

I added By The Morning's Light to my blog roll, too, for a couple of reasons. First of all, because Bree is my girl and she's the only one who comments on my site, even though I happen to know for a fact I have other lurkers out there! ;-) But aside from that -- and much more importantly than that, I really enjoy her blog and find it very interesting, entertaining and funny. Definitely stop by to see what she's up to on a weekly-or-so basis. Bree's as unpredictable at this posting gig as I am! ;-)

I think that's all I got... enjoy!

The vacation in review...

Ugghh... going back to work today was like torture! Do you ever notice it's so much harder to get up to go to work in the morning after you've been on vacation? It doesn't matter if you went backpacking through Europe or if you just sat around the house for a week, you still feel exhausted when it's time to go back. It's times like these where I wish I was independently wealthy, or born into money, or that I won the lottery, or that I was Paris Hilton. No, scratch that last one. I'll never wish that.

Vacation was so fun... I'm so sorry that I ever semi-complained about being bored that first day or so. The week ended up being a blur. The boyfriend and I went to Atlantic City for a few days and had such a blast. We didn't win anything, of course, but at least we broke even. There was plenty of other fun stuff, too, but that was definitely the highlight (going, not breaking even). There was definitely too much alcohol imbibed over the course of the week, but oh well.

(Sigh)... this might be the most boring post I've ever made... sorry...

This is no longer a vacation. This is a quest for fun.

After month upon month of madness, and dealing with people like this, I am finally, and officially, on VACATION!!!! Woo-hoo!

On Wednesday, the boyfriend and I will be taking the Family Truckster for the trek down to Atlantic City to try our hand at some blackjack and some Elvis slots. Until then, I don't have a lot going on. I was thinking at first how nice it would be to actually have nothing to do. Perhaps it was the amount of coffee I had this morning, and the fact that I couldn't sit still after awhile, but I realized that I am bored. Say what you will about work, but at least it's something to do. I did some laundry, actually did some long-past-due cleaning, visited my sister, and watched a movie ("In Her Shoes" -- hence, I totally lifted that EE Cummings poem from the movie). Then I emailed everyone I know and called the boyfriend and other various friends at work to harrass them about them having to work, and rubbing it in that I'm on vacation.

Then my one friend nailed me: "It can't be that fun of a vacation, if you're calling to chat with me at work."

Damn. She's right.

I have no idea what to do with myself until Wednesday. Since when did I become so antsy???

I Carry Your Heart With Me

--By EE Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which
grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

Up your nose with a rubber hose

This is totally unacceptable: Ice Cube will be playing the title character in the film remake of "Welcome Back, Kotter."

OK, let's talk about some very serious issues with this.... first of all, please understand that I am a HUGE "Welcome Back, Kotter" fan. When Best Buy released a six-episode DVD of "Kotter," I just about peed myself with excitement. I was there when the doors opened on the day it was released. I wish I was kidding, but sadly, it's true. But it is classic! So is nothing sacred anymore? I understand that Hollywood has no fresh ideas for original movies, so they have to make film versions of shows that, let's face it, weren't all that good to begin with -- just campy. But "Kotter" really was a quality show. If you watch it now, it's still funny. Oh, god, it makes me sick!! You just KNOW they're going to ruin it!!

Secondly, Ice Cube? Nothing against Mr. Cube -- I actually think he's great -- but Mr. Kotter he most certainly is NOT. All due respect, Ice, but I know Mr. Kotter -- and you, sir, are no Mr. Kotter.

And who, I demand of you, could possibly play Vinnie Barbarino besides a young, virile, pre-Scientology, pre-sideburns, pre-Battlefield Earth John Travolta?? No one. No -- don't even try to suggest anyone. There's no one. If I find out that Ashton "Dufus" Kutcher is in negotiations for that role, I'm taking his ass out. I'm not kidding.

Oh, and lastly: If Jessica Simpson is tied into this project in any way, shape or form, I am quitting LIFE.

As a sidebar, however, I'd like to wage guesses on which other old TV shows will soon be turned into bastardized versions of themselves in film form:
1) Knight Rider -- C'mon. That show's just asking for Ben Stiller to remake it.
2) Three's Company -- I can assure you, Jessica Simpson is a front-runner for Chrissy/Cindy.
3) Perfect Strangers -- It couldn't get any worse
4) Punky Brewster -- Guaranteed cameo from Soleil Moon Frye
5) Falcon Crest -- Why not? They're doing Dallas.
6) My Two Dads -- Remember that?? Wow, I just surprised myself with that one!
7) Happy Days -- I don't know, it just seems obvious.

Those are my lucky #7... anyone else care to take a guess?

Fun at work

Today I left a phone message for a client named Brigitte -- the following is the phone call that transpired as a result of that message.

Me: Hi, this is Rocksteady, how may I help you?
Lady: Yes, Rocksteady, you left a message earlier for Brigitte?
Me: Yes! Is this Brigitte?
Lady: No. There's no Brigitte here.
Me: Oh. I'm sorry to have bothered you-
Lady: What number did you call?
Me: Ummm... I actually don't have the number right in front of me... but it's OK, don't worry about it.
Lady: Well, I'm trying to help you. You might just be off by one digit. Why don't you just tell me what number you're trying to call?
Me: Well, I don't have the number in front of me, but really, it's no big de-
Lady: Look, I'm trying to help you. Is this what happens when someone tries to do a good deed anymore??? Why are you being so difficult??
Me: I'm sorry, I don't mean to be difficult... I just don't have my paperwork in front of me for that particular client right now...
Lady: Well, I guess this is what I get for trying to be helpful. I thought I might try to be of help to you, but it's obvious you just don't want any help.
Me: Well, I appreciate the call...
Lady: Yeah, sure. I'll bet you do. (Slams phone down in my ear).

Sigh...

Family -- the only ones to depend on.

The Sopranos are back!

Last night began Season Six, and there was a lot going on. Ray Curto's dead, so's Gene, Hesh and Eli got jumped, and Eli almost killed by a hit and run, and Tony got shot in the stomach by a raving Uncle Junior. This was just one episode!! I'm telling you, this is going to be one of, if not the best seasons for the Sopranos. I can't wait until next week!!!

Overheard at the mall

Toolbag #1: Yo, that girl was hot.
Toolbag #2: What girl?
TB #1: The girl who just passed us.
TB #2: (Turns and looks). Daaaaaamn...
TB #1: You wanna follow her?
TB#2: OK.

Kung Fu Hustle

We rented the weirdest movie EVER last night -- behold, "Kung Fu Hustle":


We couldn't find anything else we were all that interested in seeing, and I was denied my request to rent "Waiting..." again. The boyfriend pointed out "Kung Fu Hustle" and asked if I'd heard anything about it. One of my very best guy friends had gone to see it when it first opened in NYC, and he had told me that it was OK, which is what I relayed to the boyfriend. For lack of better options, we went for it.

I can't even say for sure that I hated it. It was just so... absurd. It was extremely visually stimulating, and there were some isolated funny parts. But it was unbelievably odd. I don't know how else to describe it. I guess... view at your own risk.

Even more disturbing: there's a sequel in the works.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

So, how 'bout them Oscars?

I have to be honest, in the last few years I've found the Academy Awards ceremony to be incredibly boring, with few real surprises, and this year was no exception. However, it is always fun to see the celebrities all dolled up and see if any of the actual noteworthy films that were made in the last year got honored. So let's get to it.

Best-dressed people of the evening, in no particular order:
Amy Adams
Ludacris (that's right)
Keira Knightley
Queen Latifah
Michelle Williams
Eric Bana
Salma Hayak
Will Smith
Uma Thurman
Meryl Streep
Reese Witherspoon (you recovered from the SAG awards nicely)
George Clooney
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jennifer Lopez (and I don't even like her!!)
Catherine Keener

The Blah: (Meaning they weren't necessarily bad, but they played it a little too safe)
Sandra Bullock
Nicole Kidman
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Garner
Hilary Swank

The Bad:
Bahar Soomekh
Ziyi Zhang

The Undecided: (meaning, I'm undecided whether I like these dresses or viciously despise them)
Felicity Huffman
Charlize Theron (The dress was fine, really, but that was a big-ass bow).

As for the ceremony itself, I found it incredibly boring. Jon Stewart was all right... nothing really all that special. I'm hearing buzz already that he was a disappointment, which most likely means we won't see him again next year. I did enjoy him pointing out that Three 6 Mafia have one Oscar to speak of, while Martin Scorsese has none.

I was happy that Philip Seymour Hoffman won, albeit not surprisingly. The man is a master of his craft, and yes, I know how cheesy that sounds. But really, how many people can you say that about anymore? To be an actor doesn't mean what it used to, and that's the truth. Now it's just a matter of how good you look, moreso than how well you can act. Otherwise, how can you explain Heather Graham?

I was also happy that Reese Witherspoon won, but again, no surprises there. She's cute, though.

I loved Will Ferrell and Steve Carell's presentation for Best Make-up. The fake eyelashes on Steve Carell was brilliant. The other presentation I really enjoyed was Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin's presentation of the honorary Oscar to Robert Altman. Those ladies can really work the room.

Oh, and I'm sure the Fug Girls are waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of me on this, but Joaquin Phoenix is officially on Bloat Watch. Wow.

The one and only surprise of the night was "Crash" winning for Best Picture -- I was sure that "Brokeback Mountain" had that one locked up. So it was nice that they decided to shake something up.

And now it's time for me to go to bed. Good night, and good luck.

Late night smut

I stayed up really, really late last night watching some bad TV for reasons I can't explain today. During every single commercial break, I was bombarded with 5-minute long ads for Girls Gone Wild: Co-Ed Tryouts, each one being more informative than the next. For instance... were you all aware that there is a Girls Gone Wild Island? I, for one, was not privy to this information prior to this commercial. For those of you who have been in the dark as I have, there is an island where young, slutty, college co-eds get naked and make out with each other in between partaking in an obstacle course in their underwear. Then they'll take turns running to the camera, grinning and shaking their tits for all the world to see; parents, future jobs and self-respect be damned.

I was struck by how exceptionally beautiful most of these girls were in the clips they showed in the mini-porno/infomercial. (Pornomercial?) Are there really that many pretty girls out there with such low self-esteem? I mean, they can't really expect to become famous from doing Girls Gone Wild, right? It's not like Gwyneth Paltrow or Hilary Swank or Reese Witherspoon started out that way. I'd almost feel sorry for them if I wasn't totally disgusted.

I know I shouldn't judge what other people do with themselves, but I just can't help but imagine how these videos will come back to haunt these girls later on in life. We all do stupid stuff, but... have Scott Stapp and Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton taught you nothing??? Be stupid, be crazy, be naked if you must -- but don't videotape it.

(Sigh)... Kids these days...

Welcome to Thunderdome, Bitch.

The boyfriend and I rented Waiting... last night.


I wasn't really sure what to expect of this one. It was in and out of the theaters, and I hadn't really heard much about it. A few of the boyfriend's friends from work had rented it and said it was really funny, but you just never know. Don't get me wrong -- I wasn't expecting some cinematic masterpiece or anything. But I've worked in restaurants in the past, as have many of my friends, and let's face it: it sucks. I would rather set myself on fire than to wait tables again. I'm not kidding. So I figured that some of the humor would be pretty good if they could get it right.

It was hilarious!! I know not everyone will agree, because a lot of it is immature, gross-out humor. We laughed from start to finish, though. It doesn't have much of a plot, but who cares. It's more like a day-in-the-life type story. I thought it was great. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever suffered through a waitressing job before.