It's a Scientologist thing...

... You wouldn't understand.

And yes, I know this picture of Katie and Posh is from about three weeks ago. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Fun with fiances

So here's me with The Fiance... aren't we just deliciously precious???

Yesterday we went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and did our bridal registry, since my big sister is being so kind as to throw us an engagement party next weekend. That was, like, the most fun thing ever. You just run around and scan shit that you want, and then hopefully, people buy it for you!!! We mostly stuck to stuff we really did need, but we did throw a few extraneous things in, too, like a cocktail carousel and a cocktail recipe book. Hey, drinking is a part of marriage, too. We might as well just face the truth.

Anyway, we were there for almost three hours. The Fiance was a champ, though, and he did have to lie down on one of the display beds for awhile and test out one of the massage chairs for about 10 minutes, but he hung in there. I was proud of him. ;-) We still have a little more to do, but I told him the worst is over. I think he's relieved. In the meantime: Yay, engagement party!!!!

Bummer

It was announced today by their publicist that Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe split up.

I'm actually very surprised and kind of sad to hear this. I liked them together, and they've been together for awhile, too. But he DOES seem kind of grouchy. Hmmm...

Trick or Treat!

Ahhh, Halloween. That magical one day out of 365 when someone can be someone they're not. In most women's cases, whores. Feast your eyes on some of the current costumes that are out there these days:

The Safari Girl: Just in time for the untimely death of Steve Irwin. Maybe if you're feeling a little bit twisted in addition to whorish, you could carry around a stuffed stingray. Just a thought.
The Pizza Delivery Girl: I don't know about you guys, but I can't tell you how many times the Dominos delivery person has shown up at my door looking like this. Only her abs don't really look like that. Oh yeah, and she's a he. But otherwise, exactly the same.
The Mexican: Just a little sidebar to show you that men don't feel the same need to bare all on Halloween. They can wear clothes that actually provide warmth and aren't there just to keep those nipples covered. And they're usually funny.
Ummmm...: Yeah, I don't know. But it's trampy. And that's alllllll that counts on Halloween.
The Pharmacist: Personally, my pharmacist is this 70-year-old guy with grey hair and Orville Redenbacher glasses. Other pharmacists may, in fact, dress this way. I can't say for sure.
GI Jane: Hey man, it's hot in the desert. What do you expect?

As for me, I can't decide what I want to be for Halloween. Maybe a sexy clown. Or a sexy photojournalist. Or a sexy banana. Or a sexy nun. It's a tough decision. I'll keep you all posted. Any ideas?

Another one?

Imagine my surprise when I was in Borders today and came across this on the shelves:

That's right, folks. There's another Lohan out there, and she feels the need to impart her deepest thoughts and feelings on compact disc to share with the world. And it's a "Lohan Holiday," to boot. Can't wait to hear "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (And Then Daddy Beat Him With a Shoe)," among other gems. Obviously, Dina Lohan will not rest until all her children are ruined and due for decades of therapy.

Special Topics in Calamity Physics

Today I finished (after obsessing over it for about 4 days straight) the book Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl. I can't tell you how long it's been that I've read a new release -- and this a first novel, no less -- that was as engaging and absorbing as this book was. The character development was excellent, the writing was superb, it was funny and smart. And kind of noirish. Very, very good. If you have time, you should definitely check it out!

Spongebob Stardust and the Spiders from Mars

I love David Bowie. I am actually kind of obsessed with the man.

I also love Spongebob Squarepants. He is an animated little bundle of joy.

Imagine my delight when I read this morning that Bowie will be lending his voice to a character in a Spongebob episode to air next year!!!

Sure, kids won't care. But I do.

Latest Obsession

OK, so Comcast is being a bitch (again), so I won't have any visual aids for my posts right now.

Anyway, show of hands: who's seen "The Nine"? Holy baby Jesus in a seersucker suit, that's a good-ass show! I am totally addicted.

As for "Lost"? I'm still hanging in there with it, I swear. And this week was pretty damn absorbing. But I have to admit... I'm kinda getting a headache. I thought TV was supposed to be a form of escapism... I'm working harder at trying to figure that show out than I am at my actual job. They should pay me.

The Agony of Defeat

HA!!!! Suck it, T.O.!!

The Eagles pounded the Cowboys today, 38-24, for Terrell Owen's first homecoming to Philadelphia since leaving/being kicked out. See, Terrell? Philly doesn't need you, and apparently, neither do the Cowboys, because you really didn't do shit the entire game. (I'm sure you'll blame that on someone -- anyone -- else, though).

I think ESPN's headline tonight said it best: Philly 1, Owens 0.

We shall see you again on Christmas Day, sir. Be sure to ask Santa to bring you back your pride.

Where the HELL were the paparazzi on this one???

This is a couple of days old, but I have not gotten over how happy it still makes me to hear about it:

Shanna Moakler, AKA My New Hero, allegedly punched Paris Hilton in the face at Hyde the other night. Moakler, you'll recall, is in the midst of divorcing her husband, Blink 182's Travis Barker, who then went and made the gross decision of hooking up with Paris Hilton after the split. Moakler is apparently not over this yet, thus giving Hilton a well-deserved punch that unfortunately left no real damage. This apparently occurred after the biggest girl of all, Stavros Niarchos, poured a drink over Moakler's head and tried to push her down a flight of stairs. Both women have filed police reports.

OK, now this is what needs to happen: we need to get these two in a ring and let them go at it, sell tickets and also sell a package on Pay-Per-View. Do you have ANY IDEA what a huge seller that would be? Shit, I'd fly out to Vegas for a chance to see Paris get her ass kicked.

Also, is anyone else struck by how unbelievably juvenile Paris Hilton is? She's like the bitchy popular girl in high school that made fun of everyone else, and who got her little follower friends to do all her dirty work (i.e. pouring drinks over people's heads and pushing them down stairs, or giving them such complimentary nicknames as "Firecrotch"). So if she got punched in the face, chances are she was asking for it. Just saying.

An Open Letter to Star Jones Reynolds

Dear Star Jones Reynolds,
Remember when you were planning your over-the-top, ridiculously lavish wedding to your gay husband, and your whored yourself out every day on "The View" so that you could get free shit for said wedding? (Even though you are/were on TV and made more money per day than I probably do in a year?)
Well, Mrs. Jones Reynolds, I can now see why you did all that. I am in the midst of starting to plan my own (albeit not quite as expensive) wedding, and this shit is PRICEY. Everywhere I turn, there is another outrageously expensive thing we need. In addition, we're going to need, like, a chair or something to sit on once we do get married, and we have to pay for that as well. It's very overwhelming and scary, and it's easily foreseeable that we will be in debt for awhile after our wedding day just to pay off the crap we had ON our wedding day.

So that being said, I take back some of the derogatory things I said about you while you were planning your own wedding, because I really do get it now. However, I will not take back all of them because as I said before: you probably make more money in one day than I do the entire year.

Anyway, give my best to Al and his boyfriend, and good luck with whatever it is you're doing these days. I'm sure it's fabulous. And feel free to contribute to our wedding. We're open to freebies, too.

Much love,
RockSteady