Captain Obvious

So after the Fiancee and I had bellied up to the bar last night, the local Fox news weather report came on the TV. As you may or may not know, our area is being deluged with rain with an off-season Nor'easter, and the dimwits down at Fox decided to give the public some "tips" in the case we should find ourselves amidst some major flooding.

Obvious Tip #1: Get to the highest point. (Duh, but OK).

Obvious Tip #2: Keep yourself facing the deepest point of the water. (Duh, but some people are stupid, so OK).

Obvious, and most important, Tip #3: DON'T DROWN.

I really wish I was making this up. But I swear on all that is holy, it is true. It was even printed across the screen, so it's not like it was even a chance I misheard him.

Mediocrity, thy name is Fox Philadelphia.