Oscar Round-up

Slacker, thy name is RockSteady. Before anyone says anything, I know I have really sucked exponentially about posting lately. But I'm going to try to make up for it with an Oscar post extravaganza, and maybe we can once again go back to being friends. What do you say??

I'm going to try and do this pretty much all in one post, because the Golden Globes got a little out of control. Plus, I thought the Oscars this year were a little... dare I say, lame? Aside from Scorsese winning his long-overdue Academy Award for best actor, and The Departed winning for Best Picture, and some other highlights that were few and far between, I thought this year was devastatingly boring. I'll make of it what I will, for your entertainment value. See how I look out for you??? So here it goes, and we'll start with my very favorite look of the evening:

Reese Witherspoon:
I can honestly say that I don't think I've ever seen Reese look more beautiful. This dress was stunning, and aside from that, she looks fantastic. However, I would've loved to slap Debbie Matenopoulos clear across the face when she commented that "divorce was the best thing to ever happen to Reese Witherspoon," or something along those lines. Someone really needs to take that girl out back and shoot her. Not Reese, but Debbie... in case there was confusion.

Now, onto the bad - Sally Kirkland:
Lord only knows who this freakshow is, or why she was invited to the Oscars, but I was not. Obviously, she knows no one has any idea who she is, so she attached a garish-colored tarp to her dress to draw as much attention to herself as possible. And you know what? It worked. Damn!

Favorite song of the evening - the performance by Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly:

I really think Will Ferrell could stand in front of a camera and read a phone book verbatim and I'd watch him without blinking an eye. The man is absolutely hilarious, and so are the other two. This bit was one of the few highlights of the evening.

From the "What the hell IS that?" category - Kiki Dunst:

It's actually not horrible. Really. But there's just waaaaaay too much going on. But with Kiki, it's just too easy. It's like she's trying to get on the worst-dressed lists.

Soooo pretty... AND pregnant! Naomi Watts:

I think Naomi Watts is so unbelievably gorgeous, that's it's actually kind of unfair to the rest of us. But it's hard to stay mad at her, so I'll just say she looked lovely in yellow, and I'm sure her baby will be beautiful as well.

Nicole Kidman:

You know, when I first saw Nicole Kidman on the red carpet, I thought, "Oh no, that bow is a disaster." But the more I looked at her in the dress, it really appealed to me. The oversized bow was a huge, embarrassing failure on Charlize Theron last year, but this year was Nic's year. Well played. And fantastic choice of color!

Penelope Cruz:

Words cannot express how much I despise this dress. She looks like she shaved an ostrich and stapled its feathers to the bottom of her dress. And her hair is pulled back so severely that she HAD to have a splitting headache all day the next day. Just... no. No.

Rachel Weisz:
This was another one of my favorites. This was classic Hollywood elegance. Beautiful!

Emily Blunt:

Girl, you still got it. Loved you in this blue, and just love you!

Gwyneth:

While it's not nearly as bad as some of her other debacles in the last few years, I still didn't think it was great. The color's blah, and the cut is not flattering on someone who insists on slouching everywhere she goes, as Gwyneth always does. But I guess it could be worse, right?

Helen Mirren:

I thought this was such a perfect dress for Ms. Helen Mirren, and the gold goes so nicely with her new Oscar statuette, don't you think??

J-Lo:

Ummmm... is she knocked up? 'Cause if she's knocked up, I guess this is fine, but if not... not so much. And you can't tell me all that hardware across her shoulders isn't heavy, because I just won't believe you.

Jessica Biel:
SO many websites and gossip columns and TV shows are saying that they hated Jessica Biel's Oscar look, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I thought she looked amazing. The hot pink is utterly fabulous, and I thought her hair and make-up were perfect. Everyone who doesn't think so is just dumb.

Abigail Breslin and Jayden James:

OK, these two were just too freaking cute. I just want to eat that little Abigail Breslin up. And if any of you have not yet seen Little Miss Sunshine, you simply MUST. Go right now. I'll wait.

Anne Hathaway:

Seriously? Didn't you learn anything from being in The Devil Wears Prada? This dress is horrific.

Cate Blanchett:

I like watching Cate Blanchett on the red carpets because she's a risk-taker with fashion, and more often than not, it works in her favor. I think this dress is no exception. The only thing I would change maybe is for her to have left her hair down to give her a slightly softer look. By the way, she was FIERCE in Babel. See that, too.

Celine Dion:

It's the strangest thing. It goes against everything in my being to say something nice about Celine Dion, because I can't... stand... her!!! But I thought she looked fabulous. The green was perfect on her. She still sucks, though.

And last but not least, the hostess with the mostess, Ellen:

I'm not even going to focus on her fashions because, let's face it, it's Ellen. But I thought she was a SUPERB host to the Oscars, and I really hope they ask her to come back. Love her!!!

OK, I SWEAR I'll be better with the posting. I swear!!!!



(All photos courtesy of msn.com).