Brass Ones, Volume 7

This is getting a bit lengthy, no? Oh, well, you'll be all right.

Kiefer Sutherland:
It's not even that I think he looks all that noteworthy, it's more that he looks like he could reach through my computer monitor and snap me in two. Thus, I serve at the altar of Jack Bauer.

Kyra Sedgwick:

I'm not kidding -- I really didn't know that her show was even still on the air. So good for her! And the dress was lovely.

Meryl Streep:

Meryl, I think you are a goddess, and I LOVE that you won the Globe for your deliciously cruel portrayal of Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada, but I beg of you, for the Oscars: just a little lipstick. Pretty please?

Naomi Watts:

Love the color. Otherwise: boooooooooring....

Nicolette Sheridan and (gulp) Michael Bolton:
Honey, take it easy on the Botox. Things are bad when Michael Bolton is aging more gracefully than you are. And the dress is not helping matters. It looks like your dog's leash got tangled around you as you were walking out the door, and rather than try to de-tangle, you just snipped it off at Rover's collar and kept on going. And believe me, that look just doesn't work for anyone.