Mr. Incredible

HAPPY (ACTUAL) BIRTHDAY TO THE BOYFRIEND!!

I hope it's the best, just like you. (Awww...)

Sushi: Not for Everybody

Last night, the boyfriend and I went out with two other couples to a restaurant called Kabuki in King of Prussia. This was in honor of the boyfriend's upcoming birthday on Tuesday. (I know, I know... it's like we've been celebrating for weeks. But who says you can't?) My friend Tracy had suggested this place because it's smoke-free (important especially right now because she's 6 months pregnant), it's BYOB (read: cheaper), it's close by, and the food is excellent. I had never been there before, but after she and my other friend Megan raved about it so much, we decided that's where we would go.

Now let me backtrack a bit. A few months ago, we went to another Japanese restaurant called Hana in Wayne. I know this sounds completely absurd, but at the time, that was my first time ever trying sushi. And even then, I was just taking bits and pieces off other people's plates. But it was really good, and I liked it a lot. So last night, I decided I would go the sushi route for my entire meal.

Not a good move on my part.

I ordered up some raw tuna and some raw salmon, and also picked a little at what Tracy ordered (which I believe was called a monkey roll?). Anyway, I ate it, and things were fine. Then I got my regular meal, and ate some of that. That was when things started to go downhill. I started to sweat. I thought it might be the wine we were drinking, though, so I cooled it on the wine and had some water and some of the boyfriend's white rice. Then my stomach tightened up. Uh-oh. I stopped eating and just sat, sipping water and zoning out while everyone chatted. After a few minutes, though, I was really sweating and not feeling too hot at all. I asked the boyfriend where the bathroom was and made my way.

Once I got to the bathroom, I splashed some water on my face and cooled down. My stomach started to relax a bit, and I felt well enough to return to the table. I was seated for maybe about five minutes when I jumped back up, and ran back into the bathroom.

The rest of the evening went pretty much how you can imagine from then on. I can impart to you this: I'll be avoiding the raw sushi from now on. Don't believe the hype.

Final score for the evening: Sushi - 1, RockSteady - 0.

PS -- I'd just like to suggest to restaurants everywhere: If your customer is throwing up the meal he/she ate before you even set the check on the table, think about knocking a few dollars off. Just sayin'.

My two cents: Fashion edition

Perhaps I'll be showing my age a bit with this post, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway. The state of fashion today really concerns me. I like to think that I am pretty stylish, and I like to keep up with most trends. However, there are many trends popping up lately in every magazine, store, catalogue, TV show, etc. that are just so bad that there is nothing that will ever make me want to wear any of it. They are as follows, in no particular order of my hatred for them:

Skinny jeans: To be honest, I'm actually on the fence about the skinny jeans. I've seen them look good on a few people -- but only if they are very tall and very thin. Lucky for me, I actually am both of these things. But I also have skinny ankles and big feet. How can I possibly make skinny jeans look cute on me with that combination? Personally, I am still clinging on for dear life to my flared and boot-cut jeans. Anyway, on the right person, I'll concede that these can be cute. However, I'm not sold on them being for me, and most definitely not for everyone.

UGGS (Or any knock-off): I just don't get this trend. I understand that they're very warm, and that somehow, they also keep your feet really cool in the summer. I don't get the logistics of that last part, but I'm not going to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I'll go as far as being all right with them on a snowy day. BUT. These boots are ugly, make no mistake about it. They make your feet look like boats, and worn with anything but a snowsuit, they look positively ridiculous. If I see one more girl walking around the mall in a mini skirt, a tank top and these boots right now, in the middle of February, when there is SNOW ON THE GROUND, talking about "My whole body is so warm, just because of these boots. I could be naked with only these boots on, and I'd be as snug as a bug," I am just going to snap. I don't believe you, not for a second. Take off those godawful boots and put on some damn clothes.

Bermuda shorts: First of all, I'm just not a big shorts girl. But if you're going to wear shorts... you know, wear shorts. These pictured above? Not shorts. They're half-pants. I'm glad to see we're moving away from the trend that was shorts that were basically underwear, because there were many, many times I saw girls in Daisy Duke-type shorts and saw parts of their anatomy that I don't believe they necessarily meant for the outside world to see. So that part is a good thing. But maybe we could find a halfway point? Literally? I'd also like to add the Fug girls' thoughts on shorts in general, just because I totally love those bitches: "You know how aggravated we are that when we went shopping for skirts on Saturday, we couldn't find any, because apparently shorts are the new skirts and nobody's bothering to make clothes any more for people who don't want each thigh to be encased in its very own fabric tube (unless they are boho skirts, and that simply won't do at all)."

I Dream of Jeannie: I don't even know what the hell these are. Unless you live in a bottle, these pants are right for no one.

Cowboy boots: Reincarnated thanks to movies such as Brokeback Mountain and the cinematic masterpiece that was The Dukes of Hazzard, these boots are on the front table of literally every single shoe store or shoe department I've been in for the last six months. The only thing that makes me feel better is the chuckle I have thinking about the people who will pull these boots out of the bottom of their closets next year and curse themselves for having blown $200 on a fad that lasted a hot minute.

This entire outfit, but especially the leggings: I totally hold Sienna Miller fully responsible for this legging trend. It is everywhere I look, and now the big thing I see are the leggings worn under mini skirts (and usually accompanied by a pair of horrible Ugg boots). There is a reason why we did away with the leggings the first time around. They show every single flaw your lower half is even thinking about having. Oh, and two words: Yeast infection. Sorry to be crass, but you know it's true.

Gaucho pants: Show me one woman who doesn't get a cameltoe while wearing these. Just one. I dare you. You can't do it, can you??

In closing, I leave you with these final thoughts: I experienced 80s fashion when it actually was the 80s. Those clothes were unflattering, unappealing, and flat-out unkind. Just leave them be, I beg of you. They're really not worthy of a second chance. And if I see shoulder pads ANYWHERE, I am moving to a nudist colony, and not looking back.

(Photos courtesy of Victoria's Secret).

The Cheney threat

August 2005 briefing warned, "Cheney Determined to Shoot Old Man in Face."

Source: The Onion.

Puttin' on the Ritz

On Saturday night, the boyfriend and I made a last-minute decision to go to the Ritz East in Olde City and see "Neil Young: Heart of Gold," the new concert film that was directed and produced by Jonathan Demme. The boyfriend had never been to any of the Ritz theaters before, so I excitedly told him how much nicer the theaters are, how they're hardly ever crowded, that it's a better, more intellectual crowd, and how you don't have to worry about teens just there to hang out or people talking through the entire film like you do at regular theaters.

So we got there, found ourselves great seats in the sparsely crowded theater, and eagerly awaited our entertainment. The previews ended, the theater dimmed its lights even more than before and the opening credits began to roll.

That's when the real show began.

The couple behind us, who I have come to know in my mind as Hank and Myrtle, began commenting on everything being shown in the opening scenes. And not whispering to each other, mind you. Talking. Loudly. As if in a crowded restaurant.

Hank: "Where is this being shot?"
Myrtle: "Hmmm... I really don't know... it looks familiar, though."

(At the bottom of the screen flashes the words "Nashville, Tennessee.")

Hank and Myrtle, in unison: "Ohhhh... Nashville."

At this point, the boyfriend and I exchanged worried looks. After all my promises of a better experience than any normal movie theater, I was concerned I'd be made to look like a liar. The boyfriend looked concerned that I was, in fact, a liar.

The film starts with some clips of different members of Neil Young's band commenting on the concert they were about to perform, about the album "Prairie Wind," and about performing with Neil Young in general. To our surprise, Hank and Myrtle were unexpectedly subdued during these interviews, barely making any noise or commentary. And then the boyfriend elbowed me, nodding in their general direction. In my peripheral vision, I saw Myrtle almost sitting in Hank's lap, with her tongue shoved down his throat. Now, you might call me old-fashioned, but I really think there's a time and a place for that sort of thing, and the movie theater is neither of those. Plus, Hank and Myrtle were well into their fifties. Ew. However, I decided we should leave well enough alone. "Just be thankful they're being quiet," I hissed back at the boyfriend.

Not for long, though. After the interviews, the movie moves right into the first night of the concert, with Young performing songs from his latest album, "Prairie Wind." I sensed that Hank and Myrtle were unfamiliar with these songs, since they seemed to not pay too close attention to them, instead swapping their time between making out and chatting (again, loudly) about anything that seemed to come to mind, and giggling. There was a lot of giggling.

I managed to get the boyfriend to stay seated and NOT kill Hank and Myrtle, telling him that I figured that since it was a concert film, that perhaps they thought it was like an actual concert, where it was OK to talk through it and make out. The boyfriend bristled, but remained in his seat, and satisfied himself with shooting Hank and Myrtle a withering look.

The second half of the concert was actually Neil Young and company's second night in Nashville, and this part was more focused on his older hits. Hank and Myrtle instantly snapped to attention. This, clearly, was what they had been waiting for all night. Myrtle clapped and sang along (off-key, as you would assume) with the songs, sometimes even getting the words correct. Hank satisfied himself by merely humming off-key, and kicking the chairs in front of him in time with the music, causing a reverberation down the aisle to our chairs. The boyfriend shifted in his seat menacingly, and sighed audibly. I patted his arm in a lame attempt to keep him calm. "They're older," I whispered. "Maybe they don't get out much."

Young then launched into his song "Old King," about a dog who was named King. At the end, he makes all sorts of snuffling and howling sounds into the microphone. When it was over, Myrtle announced to the entire theater, "THAT was a very silly song!"

At this point, I peered into the darkness into our surrounding area to see if anyone else was as perturbed by Hank and Myrtle's antics as we were. This, however, was to no avail, as everyone within earshot of them was calmly watching the screen, watching the movie in peace. I shook my head in disbelief. I knew it couldn't just be us. It's not as if they were just whispering and we were the only ones who could hear them! I took a deep breath. Maybe I was making it much worse than it actually was.

At that point, Young began to play "Harvest Moon." I was able to lose myself again in the concert, as Hank and Myrtle had settled down a bit. We were about halfway through the song, when I heard what sounded like someone stepping on a cup behind me. I turned slightly to look back at Hank and Myrtle, and then did a double take. There they were, slow dancing to "Harvest Moon" in the middle of the theater. I looked back at the boyfriend, who was just sitting there, shaking his head, staring at the screen.

"Did you see--"
"Yes."
"They're dancing!"
"I know."
"There's people sitting right behind them, though!"
"I know."
"What the hell?"
"I don't know."

After the song ended, Hank and Myrtle (and no one else) applauded the screen, gave each other a long, lingering kiss, and sat themselves back down for the rest of the film, which thankfully was not much longer.

At the very end of the credits, the words "For Daddy" flashed across the screen.

"For Daddy," Hank and Myrtle read aloud together, again in unison.
"Whose Daddy?" Hank asked, obviously forgetting who the movie was about already.
"Well, I read somewhere that he wrote that last album just for his daddy," said Myrtle. "So maybe they mean Neil Young. Where did I read that? Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue..."

At this point, the boyfriend and I made a hasty exit.

So, the lesson to be learned here? "Neil Young: Heart of Gold" -- very good. Hank and Myrtle, and their private show -- needs some work. But thanks for entertaining us, guys!

The Autumn Defense

Last night, as an early birthday present to the boyfriend, we went to World Cafe Live at 30th and Walnut to see The Autumn Defense. We had heard of them through being fans of Wilco, for whom John Stirratt also plays bass guitar. This was our first time seeing The Autumn Defense in concert, and our first time visiting World Cafe Live, and we were greatly impressed with both. What a great night out, and we're both totally hooked now. We got to meet Pat Sansone and Greg Wiz after the show, who were very gracious to us. Unfortunately, neither of us had cash on us, otherwise we would've raided their CDs, t-shirts and posters they were selling. But the boyfriend had his ticket signed by them and we told them how much we enjoyed the show.

Now we are both completely psyched to go back on March 29th to see The Minus 5! That is sure to be an amazing show as well.

Cupid takes aim... 500 times over

This is kind of sweet: A 17-year-old junior from Weston, FL sent 500 of his female classmates red roses for Valentine's Day. At the same time, I have to wonder if he's just playing his odds... "If I send a rose to 500 different girls for Valentine's Day, at least one of them has to go out with me, right??"

Damn!

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have denied reports that they have split, saying they still have big plans for both their wedding and the arrival of their spawn... er, child.

We were so close to getting Katie Holmes back from the dark side!

Jon Stewart is going to have a field day with this...

Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter on a weekend quail hunting trip this weekend.

As if the man needs any more bad press...

Ummm...

What in the hell is this?

Why is Teri Hatcher even AT the Grammys?

And more importantly, why is she wearing... that?

UPDATE: Once again, Defamer hits the nail on the head: "an aging, nighttime soap star clawing at the spotlight in an outfit that says, 'Hey, everyone! Look at me! I’m in my underwear! Isn’t that outrageous?!'"

UPDATE, PART II: Thanks to the Fug girls, I just laughed till I cried: "Teri Hatcher proves that she woefully, tragically misinterpreted all that 'What's in the hatch?' talk that buzzed around ABC last summer."

Cutest thing EVER

Tonight at the Grammy awards...


(Photo courtesy of Reuters)

Aw Shit Man

The Minus 5 will be releasing "The Gun Album" tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to hearing it, especially after Ryan Cormier over at the News Journal raved about it on his blog today. (In fact, if it wasn't for Ryan, I would've completely forgotten that it was coming out tomorrow, so thanks!) If you've never heard these guys before, I highly recommend them. They're a great band.

Are you strong enough to be my man?

Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong split up!! I cannot believe that!

I'm actually really bummed to hear this. I liked them together.

How rude!

Jodie Sweetin, better known as Stephanie Tanner from "Full House," announced on "Good Morning America" today that she is a recovering meth addict.

Cue sentimental music and a group hug from Bob Saget, Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse.

Another one bites the dust.

Heather Locklear has filed for divorce from husband Richie Sambora after 11 years of marriage.

Divorce is just so hot right now.