Is Lisa Turtle featured?

Try to wrap your brains around this one, kids: Dustin Diamond, better known as "Screech" from Saved by the Bell, apparently has a sex tape.
Oh, wait. It gets worse. Not only is it a 40-minute Screech sex tape, but it shows him engaging in a threesome with two women, but it also allegedly shows him giving one of said women a Dirty Sanchez. If you don't know what a Dirty Sanchez is, click on the link only if you dare. And only if you're not eating or haven't eaten recently. Or if you were planning on having sex again, um, ever.

And the kicker: the sex tape is called Saved by the Smell. Yeah, I'm going to go vomit now.

Music to rock your socks off, take 2.

Well, color me embarrassed. Bree (bless her heart, for where would I be without her??) pointed out the most obvious and exciting recent release that I completely failed to mention -- Bob Dylan. We'll get to that. But while I was wallowing in my shame for having forgotten Bob, my personal lord and savior, I also realized I had overlooked another good disc that I picked up recently by Snow Patrol, called Eyes Open:
This was actually released in May, but I'm just getting around to it now. Get off my back. Geez. Anyway, I picked it up before every single radio station in America decided to play "Chasing Cars" 23,000 times a day (which is, nonetheless, still my favorite song on the entire CD), and I haven't been disappointed. It's pretty darn good. There, I said it.

Now, onto the Big Guy, one of the greatest musicians of our lifetime, Mr. Bob Dylan:

His Bobness just released Modern Times, which is truly one of the greatest, if not THE greatest, CDs of 2006. I can't even pick my favorite songs, because I love them all. So, in truth, the Black Keys and Bob Dylan have been equally duking it out in my CD player. The man's a freaking genius. Enough said.

But thanks, Bree, for calling me out, because really. I mean... really.

Music to rock your socks off.

I don't know if it's just the time of year or what, but fall always seems to bring the very best in music releases with it. It's AWESOME!!! The releases have already begun, and I am very happy with my purchases so far.

TV on the Radio, Return to Cookie Mountain:
I know not everyone is going to love these guys as much as I do, because they're very very different than any other band's sound. That's why I like them so much!!! There's really no way to describe their music, but if you're feeling adventurous, I highly recommend it.

And from the obscure we'll jump to the obvious, with Mr. Justin Timberlake's sophomore effort, FutureSex/LoveSounds:

This is just a straight-up, sexy-ass dance album. C'mon, people, I'm not buying it for the deep lyrics. But it's good stuff that you can shake your tailfeather to, and I'm all for that.

Last but certainly not least, The Black Keys, Magic Potion:

Oh. My. God. It's so good. Seriously. It's SO good. It's old school rock and/or roll. If you like Led Zeppelin or the White Stripes, go buy this RIGHT NOW. You won't regret it. Promise. You'd have to fight me to get it out of my CD player right now.

Next up: new stuff from Beck and The Killers!!! Get ready!! And for movies, get ready for Employee of the Month (Jessica sucks, but Dane rocks) and The Departed. Scorsese has to get an Oscar nom this time around, or I might have to call for a boycott of the Oscars all around. And the Academy Awards are, like, my life blood (Movies! Music! Dresses! Drunk people!), so really that's saying a lot.

OK, good talk. See you out there.

I'm baaaaaack!!!!

And I'm engaged!!!!! The Boyfriend is now The Fiance!