Teen Choice Awards

I know I'm a little behind the times with this post, seeing as the TCA were two nights ago, but too bad. I'm a little slow because I'm no longer one of you hipster teens. Respect your elders, goddammit. Here's my two cents anyway.

Kevin Federline is the biggest douchebag in history:
All of these people I know are saying, "You know, he really wasn't that bad..." Yeah, well, that doesn't make him good, either, and it certainly doesn't mean he should've closed out an awards show on national television. My friend's band is pretty OK, and they're not on TV, so what gives? Long live mediocrity, I guess...

Nick Lachey made a funny:

"Awkward? Just a little bit?" Awww, Nick, way to handle a bad sitch. Good job. Proud of ya!

Pssst... Rihanna, did you learn NOTHING from the Ashlee Simpson SNL incident???

Girlfriend needs to learn to lip synch well if she is going to choose to do so on national television. My dog can lip synch "S.O.S." better than she can. But I'll grant her a reprieve because DAMN! Is that song catchy or what??? Plus, she's a big bitch. I'm pretty sure she could crush me.

What the hell was around Mischa Barton's neck???

Let me reminisce for a second. My mom used to have this porcelain clown doll with a white and black painted face that she kept in our spare bedroom. If I was ever in that room, I hid that freaking clown under the bed because it scared the shit out of me. The clown also had a big frilly collar around his neck, just like Mischa's. Sorry, Mischa. Under the bed you go.

No comment:

Who is this person again? I mean, I know it's Brooke Hogan, but why do we care about her dumb ass?

Best chemistry:

Truly. I know they were pre-recorded and all, but very cute.

J-Simp in the hizzy:

How far the mighty have fallen...

BOOBIES!!!:

Britney cleaned up nicely. But holy boobies, Batman!!!! And I'm pretty sure I can see her private lady parts that I'm not meant to see peaking out from under her mini dress. And in the name of all that is holy, THROW OUT THE GUM!!!!!!!!!!!

Yawn....

What a waste of Dane Cook's talent. The man rocks, and yet was stuck in such a pit of despair with this award show. Oh, well, I'll still see Employee of the Month. Hopefully their chemistry is better in the movie than it was onstage Sunday night!

(Photos courtesy of MSN Entertainment).