Cue "Jaws" theme song...

Tonight on Shark Week, I watched Air Jaws: Sharks of South Africa.

Yo... Those m-f'ers are no joke.

I really didn't think great whites could breach like that. I thought that was all made up in Steven Spielberg's head. Could you imagine going for a swim or for a boat ride and seeing that? I'd shit myself. I'm not kidding.

In other news, I almost burned down my house tonight. That was awesome. See, my sister and her four kids stayed here last week while her power was out, and she used the oven while she was here to make the kids some chicken nuggets. Well, she must've dropped a couple of the nuggets into the bottom of the oven, right where the gas heat is generated. So while I was pre-heating the oven to make dinner tonight, I lit the nuggets on fire. I was sitting there, minding my own business, reading my US Weekly (which reminds me: Shame on you, Mel Gibson!!! Shame on you!!!), when I realized things were a little smoky in the kitchen. I looked at the oven, and realized that it was lit up with flames. I jumped up, turned the oven off and kept the door closed until the fire put itself out. But now the whole house smells like burning, and I can't use the oven until I pull the bottom-tray-part-thingy out and retrieve the remains of the chicken nugget. In conclusion, my sister will be receiving a strongly-worded phone message tomorrow about chicken nuggets and fires and things of that nature.