Crazy Eyes

So, my friends Tracy and Matt just had a baby girl about a month ago. She is absolutely adorable and we're all crazy in love with her. Observe the cuteness firsthand:

However, it is a very good thing that she is cute, because she has her days and nights all mixed up, and Tracy nor Matt have slept in about a month. They are both completely exhausted, and we rarely get to see them because of the whole parenting thing, so that's why it was so exciting when they actually got themselves a babysitter and we all got to go out last Friday.

Unfortunately, we decided to go to a local bar we used to go to all the time. Mind you, it's not a very nice bar. It's quite literally a dive. But we used to all but live there, so we decided to relive the memories of days gone by when we were childless (actually... most of us still are childless)and carefree and go there again. Bad idea. Apparently, new young blood has claimed said bar for its own, and weren't happy about sharing. We were playing pool on the outside deck on one of the two outside pool tables, drinking some beers, and catching up when a bunch of young guys came up and took over the other table. Only a few minutes had passed when one of the guys asked Matt if the guys at our table wanted to play him and his friends for money. Matt told him no, that we were just chilling and not playing seriously, but thanks. But the guy, who was wearing a NY Yankees hat (which was reason enough right there for a beatdown), wouldn't let it go. He was literally harrassing Matt to play for money. Matt started to get really irritated, things got said on both sides by a lot of different people, and then one of Yankee's friends told The Boyfriend: "We're not here to relax and have fun. We got 15 guys here who will kick all your asses." One of Yankee's friends then got in Matt's face and said, "Hey, what's your problem, man?" Matt replied, "Just walk away, Crazy Eyes." This is basically what Crazy Eyes looked like:

Crazy Eyes managed to somehow make his eyes even bigger and said, "What the hell you say to me???" Matt repeated himself, and that's when a lot of pushing and shoving and general chaos ensued. So we left.

Crazy Eyes was still pissed, though, so he followed Matt out to the parking lot and sucker-punched him. As soon as that happened, though, The Boyfriend ran over to Crazy Eyes and punched him right in his crazy face. Hard. That's when 6 police cars rolled up, and Crazy Eyes ran away like the little bitch he is. After we made a statement to the police (who were totally on our side), we were allowed to leave and go home and drink in peace.

*(As a side note, I'd like to just say that I can't believe people actually still engage in fist fights. I guess it's still somewhat acceptable when you're as young as these guys were, but my friends and I are close to, or in our 30s. We're a peaceful people. This was my friends' first night out after having their first baby!! What a debacle.)

Anyway, Tracy just called me and asked what The Boyfriend and I are doing on Saturday night, and if we'd like to come over and drink on their patio while Tracy's mom watches the cute, non-sleeping baby. I said yes. But I'm bring Mace and my brass knuckles this time.