Letter of Truth to Britney

Dear Britney,

I recently came across a picture of you and your manpri-wearing husband attending the L.A. premiere of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. While I am delighted that you chose to come to the event without exposing your huge pregnant belly to the rest of the free world, we still need to talk about the issue that is your baby daddy, K-Fed. So let's get down to it, Brit. He's white trash, he's a poser, he's using you for your money, and he's greasy. And his hair is too long. Oh, and he sounds like an f-ing idiot every time he opens his mouth. The last picture I saw of him, he was wearing white socks with flip-flops. I know you weren't with him at the time of this offending fashion faux pas, but I thought you should be aware all the same. I'm here to help you, Britney, because I care.

I think life might still be salvageable for you, B. Dump the grease monkey, give Justin a call, see if he's really serious about this whole Cameron Diaz thing, hug it out and boom! New baby daddy and the respect of your peers, all in one shot.

Come on, Britney. You're better than this. Aren't you???
Love,
RockSteady